


Two drunken Fools

by Avidfanficwriter



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: AU, After infinity war, Alcohol, Anger, Angst, But semi before Endgame, Depression, Endgame, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Hurt Tony Stark, Infinity War, OFC is mourning, P.S. i hate chapter 1 and 2, Pain, Pepper and Tony's timeline is jumbled so... yeah, References to Depression, Sex, Sexual Content, Smut, Spoilers for Endgame, Takes place after the snap, Thanos came and went but shit is changed around, They disappoint me, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, comfort through pain, more to come - Freeform, spoilers for Infinity War, tony is mourning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-09-02 01:21:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20267695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avidfanficwriter/pseuds/Avidfanficwriter
Summary: When Tony fought Thanos, he thought that was as bad as it could get. He'd walk away with a bruised ego, a stab wound and the kid in tote. It didn't end like that, it never does for Tony Stark. His world fell. The kid's gone, Pepper's gone and he's in dire need of help but refuse to let anyone know that. Instead he cures it, the only way he knows how: booze and seclusion. Until he discovers he shares shocking similarities with someone else whose curing their own pain the same way.





	1. Chapter 1

_"_

_"When I'm done half of humanity will still be alive."_

Of all the things, Tony has heard or been told, he never considered Thanos' threat to be the one that would haunt him. 

He never considered the possibility that he would lose either... but he had. The Avengers lost.

The day he lost has started to haunt him, he second guesses every choice he made and his mind is filled with Thanos... again. After New York, the battle, the wormhole and Nuke, he didn't think it could get worse. He saw a threat and he new they would need to protect the world. Thanos had only showed him a glimpse of the destruction he would bring. What he actually did was much worse. He took the world into his fist and squeezed until he felt victorious. 

There's the sting in Tony's abdomen where Thanos impaled him that has phantom pains but it's Thanos' voice that he can't forget. Every day he wakes, it's the first thing he hears. 

Thanos, the villain, the monster, the boogeyman who hides in children's closets had won. He followed through with the threat to rid the world of half human life but it's not the threat Tony wishes Thanos' would have acted on, he threatened to kill him, said in a gritty voice: "I hope they remember you." and Tony accepted it. He knew in that moment he was going to die. Only it never came. Thanos abandoned him, gathered the infinity stones and turned people to ash. Death would have been easier than living, buried six feet under with his flesh rotting and clothes turning to dirt would be easier than living with the knowledge that he let the world down. If he would have managed to stop Quill from reacting foolishly or stopped Strange from giving Thanos the stone, maybe they would've won. Maybe he would have succeeded but Thanos didn't allow him. 

The gaping wound to his abdomen should've killed him, he deserved that. He should have went down with pain coursing through his body, blood seeping through his clothes and his body going cold but the world was to cruel to let Tony finally rest. He watched everyone around him disintegrate and he stayed. Tony remained in tact with his body bleeding and pain having yet to invade his mind. It should've killed him, plain and simple. Tony wanted to die, He longed for death but it never came. Everyone was gone, he was on a unknown planet and there was no telling who was still alive on earth. Did Pepper survive? Did Natasha? Was Steve---

Tony Stark deserved to die.

... but he hadn't. 

Even as he was in a foreign spaceship suspended in the solar system with no food and water, an android as his only means of company and an infection infection running rampant throughout his body. He lived. Survival was harder to accept. 

He lost Peter, a fifteen year old kid, he took under his arm and swore to protect. Tony looked the kid's aunt in her eyes and promised he'd be safe. He let her down. 

The final nail in the coffin was, losing his heart, his everything, his reason for living. The light at the end of his tunnel was gone. 

When Tony makes it to earth after days of being suspended in space, sickly and skeleton like with crusted lips and a heart beating far to slow, it's Steve who helps him from the ship. Wrapping his arm around his waist and silently forgetting everything from their turbulent past.

"I lost the kid." Tony forces out with a scratchy throat and dry eyes. He doesn't remember whose surrounding them or who else is there to greet him but he can remember the feeling of dread seeping off of the Captain.

Steve is quick to respond, not an ounce of hesitation as he meets Tony's eyes. "Tony, we lost." He corrects. 

"Is... is Pep..." Steve nods before Tony has a chance to finish the question, his eyes solem and Tony's heart audible drops. 

Tony lost the kid, held him as he turned to ash and blamed himself but there was still a tiny part of him that hoped Pepper was safe on earth, waiting for him to come back. Discovering she wasn't, created more pain than the blood infection and stab wound could have ever made. Pepper was taken from him, taken like everyone else. He wasn't there when death kidnapped Pepper, he didn't get to hold her in his arms, cradle her body close to his chest and promise her she would be okay. She died waiting for Tony, alone and scared. 

Thanos took away half the population but he also managed to destroy Tony. He cursed Tony, forced him to live knowing he failed. He was right, the world would remember Tony Stark, the would remember him as the one who let humanity down. The man who had the opportunity to save everyone and wasn't able to do it. Everyone died because he couldn't do what needed to be done. Everyone died and he lived. Because Tony always lives and everyone he loves eventually leaves him. 

Tony turns to drinking when the pain is too much to bare, he considers jumping off the roof but some sick twist of fate doesn't let him walk off the balcony. He drinks anything he can get his hands on because it helps just enough to get him through the day, the moment he's released from the hospital he goes home and downs a bottle of scotch. Then another and another. It cuts off his emotions, shuts down the parts of his brain that yearn for Pepper. Yet once the alcohol wears off, it all comes back with a vengeance. Memories fill his brain, loving kisses, the feeling of fingers running through his hair, smiles, her laugh or how she felt beneath him. No matter how much he drinks, the torment and emptiness of his heart can't be cured fully. She's always there, haunting him. Reminding him of how he failed and who he was before everything happened.

Iron Man is tucked away in a closet, piling with dust while FRIDAY is ordered to not let anyone in unless he okays it. Not a soul is allowed inside his home. He wants to be left alone, he can't handle the shame that fills people's eyes as he passes or the whispered conversations whenever his presence is around. Everyone knows, he failed. Everyone blames him.

Happy is the first to arrive at his door with a bag of cheeseburgers from fifteen different fast food restaurants, he knocks, jiggles the handles and calls out for his boss. Tony ignores him. Rhodey is the next, his hand slams against the solid door and he spares no expense at bribery. Vegas, he offers, like the old times. Tony ignores him. Natasha shows up, slamming her palm against the door much like Rhodey had only she demands to know what is going on and why no one has seen or heard from him in two months. She is treated the same response. 

Tony has FRIDAY send over paperwork informing Natasha and Steve that they are now officially in control of whatever is left of The Avengers Compound, there is a short typed note from Tony simply saying: "You deserve it now." 

Three months after the decision has been made official and is announced to whoever is left of the population, Steve makes an appearance at Tony's door saying something, he doesn't care enough to listen anymore. He's drank to much, spent too much time wallowing in self pity and still slightly angered at the great Captain America. He's forced to endure pain, carry it around with him while Steve Fucking Rogers walks around with his head held high and smile on his stupid face. Steve leaves after just five minutes, his hands buried in his pockets and his eyes aimed at the ground. Voicemails start after that, Happy, Natasha, Rhodey and Steve. They all eventually start to sound the same. 

Happy: Boss, are you doing okay? What are you up to? Do you need me to get you anything? Boss, there is a meeting today, you should be there. Tony... You can't live like this. ...The world needs Iron Man. They need you, Tony. Pepper would want you to continue. 

Natasha: Tony, I can't do this, I can't run a company. Tony, you need to come back, I need you to come back. Pepper would have wanted you at the helm. 

Rhodey: Tony, you have to get out. You can't lock yourself up in your house and just give up. Pepper wouldn't want this. There is still so much left. 

Steve: Tony, Look... I uh.. I get it, okay. I know what you're going through. You just have to think about who you're doing this for. Think about Pepper. 

Voicemail after voicemail goes unanswered, he can't even bring himself to listen to them anymore. They all want something from him, run the company, show the world he's still here, the team still needs you but no one even noticed Tony needed something once upon a time too. He needed Pepper, needed friends and needed support. Tony needed them once and they left him, betrayed him and beat him down. Why would he believe them now? Why it would be any different now?

Tony can't remember when he did it but eventually he disconnects his cell phone, deletes his email account and puts Friday on lockdown (mostly because he knows she's been sending people updates on him). He eventually becomes a prisoner in his own home, cuts off from the world and the people. Every so often he checks the cameras in the compound out of boredom and possibly because he misses his 'friends.' 

A few overheard conversations between Rhodey and Nat from his security feeds in the compound lead him to believe the teams Bird is on some Warrior mission serial killer style. Natasha is doing a better than he expected job at the helm of the compound, Steve tends to lurk in the shadows when it comes to the business but he resides in the compound and usually eats dinner alongside Nat. Rhodey is still actively involved in the military occasionally popping by to check up on things. Tony is stuck watching as they move on, continuing with life all while he doesn't get the privilege to. He has moments where his fingers dance across the keyboard or pad of phone, the phone numbers he knows by heart all scream out to be dialed. He could call Happy or Rhodey, even Banner (whatever he's up to now, he's the only one who hasn't been at the compound lately. He overheard Natasha say he was off being a doctor in some foreign country again) Tony also gets threatening close to starting a conference call with whoever is inside the conference room. It'd be so easy to press the call button and talk to someone, anyone. He never does. The first month of watching the feeds included witnessing Natasha come to terms that she was interacting with a build-a-bear, one who also happened to steal a few things from her office. Tony has a list of all the things, he's noticed the racoon taking and leaving money in place of. The second was trying to decipher where Steve spent his time outside of the compound but other than a bag of fast food he brought for Natasha, he's still at a loss. Months pass and the only interactions Tony's had with the team are one sided, video shots of their lives without him. Tony witnesses Natasha fire another round of employees they no longer deemed necessary with Steve standing by, he'd cross his arms over his chest and put on his signature stoic facial expression. Rhodey, meets a girl but it doesn't last long. Steve joins a group but has yet to say what for, he mockingly hopes it's one that helps him remove the stick from his ass. 

It's late when he turns on the camera in Natasha's office, a glass of vodka and coke swirling in his hands as he props his feet up on the coffee table. He's running out of alcohol and desperately needs to order another six cases when he accidently clicks the icon for the security feeds, instead of changing it, watches it. The alcohol will still be there tomorrow and his bank account will still have money for it. Natasha is a blonde now with shorter hair, she has a stack of files in front of her. Steve is standing besides her, another firing spree Tony assumes. He watches her fire a young man and as he leaves he notices a sudden a shift in Natasha's behavior, she looks to Steve with weary lips: "Should we?" She asks in a gentle tone. 

Steve nods, tightening his jaw. "He's not here. He's not coming back." They're talking about him, he knows it. The mood always shifts whenever he's brought up. "She's been doing a little of everything but... they're gone." 

They're greeted by a young woman with curly brown hair in a white blouse, tight pencil skirt and six inch heels. He vaguely remembers her, she was an assistant to someone or on loan from SHIELD, he doesn't remember exactly. Their first meeting replays in his head, she asked for a signature holding a large stack of papers towards him, he thought she was a fan and it turned out to be an embarrassing encounter he hoped to forget. After he signed the document and let his mouth run with sarcastic comments about being asked to sign things because of his fame only to be told it was official business, he was redder than his iron man suit and she walked away smirking. 

"You're being let go." Natasha informs her. 

The brunette nods. 

"It's temporary." 

Another nod. 

"You'll be paid for the first year of your absence." 

Another nod. 

"You were an asset to the company, if things change..." She means if things every become normal again. "I can guarantee you, you'll be brought back. A complete reinstatement." 

Tony sets his glass onto the coffee table and for the first time in months, asks FRIDAY to turn on. "Who is that, FRIDAY?" He asks ignoring the greeting the A.I. gives him. The screen changes wiping away the security cameras and replacing it with her glowing picture and file. Her image takes residence on the right side of the screen and everything they have on her is displayed before him, employee records, position at the company, an entire database of information about her is before him. Wren Granger, he reads at the top of the page. Her name triggers the few memories he has of her, she worked for the Avengers, behind a desk with a smile that made you feel as though you'd known her for years. She'd attended a few parties at the Stark Tower but kept to herself. They had few interactions together but she never seemed the tiniest bit interested in him, her eyelashes didn't flutter when he came around nor find any excuse to touch him like most woman. She simply did her job and went home. 

The first conversation they had that wasn't business related was at a party, years before everything happened. He was looking for Rhodey, ready to mock him over his insistent retelling of his adventures when he spotted yet another unfortunate soul being forced to listen to Rhodey's tales. Tony refills his drink and rushes to save the young lady.

"Rhodey, you're torturing the poor woman." Tony says swiftly joining them, resting his hand on his longtime friends shoulder. 

Rhodey opens his mouth to respond, a wise crack at the tip of his tongue but the woman beside him beats him to it. "I beg to differ, Mr. Stark, it was just getting interesting." 

"See, Tony..." Rhodey says a smile stretching across his face. "Somebody appreciates my stories."

"It's not all that fascinating," Tony quips. "He's been telling the same story for a week."

The brunette cocks her head and gives a dramatic gasp. "Is that so, Mr. Rhodes?" She asks with a smirk. 

Once again, someone else who beats Rhodey before he has a chance to speak, it's Tony this time. "Don't feel to bad for him, he's just upset that the world only tolerates War Machine. Iron man is their preference but they settle for second best in time of need." She tries to fight her chuckle by covering her mouth with her hand but the sounds of laughter leak through causing Rhodey to scoff and walk away annoyed. He grabs his drink and shouts a quip about War Machine being better as he heads to the other side of room. 

"Oh no." The woman chuckles as she watches Rhodey leave.

Tony leans against the counter alongside the brunette and lets his eyes trail along her body. She's traded her usual pencil skirt for a pair of tight black jeans and a flowery blouse. "Which of these lovely prospectors do you plan to mooch off of?" He asks with a sly smile and cock of an eyebrow.

"I suspect you've taken yourself out of the equation?" She asks without missing a beat.

Tony jerks his head towards her and lets out a surprised breath, "Yes... why was I in the equation?" He asks, a cheeky grin now plastered on his face. 

"Not originally but I figure why close all doors, huh?" She asks with a smile as she meets his dark brown eyes. "Besides wouldn't you be the best to mooch off of considering you're the billionaire?" There's a small shrug of her shoulders as she relaxes against the wooden counter behind her. 

"Wise decision." Tony remarks. "But I'm taken." 

"That's true." She smiles. "I've heard Steve Rogers is nice." 

Tony turns his nose up, "Capsicle?" He leans closer hovering his lips near her ear. "You'd have to devirginize him."

Full of shock, she turns to face him eyebrows furrowed with her lips press tightly together. Her dark green eyes fall back to the Captain whose engaged in a competitive game of pool alongside Sam. "Well, maybe not. It might get a bit awkward when I don't call him the day after." 

Tony chuckles, nearly spilling the drink he's holding. "Tony Stark." he says offering her his free hand. 

"I know, I work for you." She says with a smile, accepting his hand in a firm handshake. "Wren Granger."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Miss Granger." 

"You as well, Mr. Stark." 

"Tony, please."

"Tony."

They keep each other company throughout the night, talking for hours about any little topic that sparks interest. Wren doesn't ask about his time as Iron Man or his life as a billionaire, she has simple questions or comments that only people who really want to know someone ask. It's easy to talk to one another, the conversations flows and doesn't feel stressed. It's comfortable, something Tony hasn't experienced in a long time. As the party dies down and the guests begin returning home, she glances at the watch on her left wrist and says that she should leave as she has an hour drive. 

"An hour? You don't live in the city?" 

"No, Not at all." Wren shakes her head almost insulted by the indication.

"Where do you live? I can get someone to drop you."

She nods, "I don't think you or I need that type of talk surrounding us." extending her hand to shake his. "Besides, I'm actually out of the city, rural area." Tony flinches at the comment and she notices his discomfort. "Not a country boy, i take it?" 

"City boy, born and raised." 

"Shame." She tsks him and stands. "It's nice break from the chaos that is the city. We get a lot less alien invasions." She winks at him with a smile. Tony chuckles quietly, at the remark. The noises that came with the city life, is what makes his home, a home. "If you ever manage to make it out there, in the quiet that is, you're more than welcome to stop by for a drink." She says straight faced. "Quiet can do you some good, it's a nice break to get away from all the noise and people."

The offer runs rampant in his mind as if it was offered just yesterday, he watches Wren leave Natasha's office, clutching a manilla folder to her chest. At the time, when she mentioned him coming out for the quiet, he thought nothing of. It was a friendly offer. Now, it felt like a calling. He can claim it's because he's severely lacking from human contact or slightly hungover and curing the hangover by drinking more and his mind isn't working at full capacity, or it's much simpler, he wants to talk to someone who isn't artificial and doesn't have a ulterior motive behind their words. He ponders the idea, when they met she treated him like he was a person maybe she'd do the same now. Everyone else tried to fix him until he longed to strangle them or share ways he can get over his loss. She could be different. There was no judgement when they first spoke. 

He writes down her address, just in case and pins it to the fridge. Just in case, he thinks. If it really gets to him, he'll visit. 

* * *

The ache in Wren's chest is raw, flesh eating and nausea inducing raw. 

Everyone is gone. 

The bad guy won. 

The Avengers lost. 

In an instant half the population was gone, wiped away from the world as if they never existed. Friends, family and lovers are gone. In a blink of an eye, they disappeared with a gust of wind. 

The world feels empty now, those that were lucky enough to survive wish they hadn't. No one had time to prepare, they didn't have the luxury of a final goodbye or a warning that this would happen, it just did. Not many knew how to cope with the sudden loss, the trauma and pain resides deep in their chest unable to be cured. No funerals, no bodies and no final resting grounds. Ash in the wind. The world was at a standstill, abandoned cars rest in the middle of the roads, toys left untouched and groceries left to rot in the hot sun. Time seemed to stop.

Everyone hurts and most people blame the Avengers. The world's mightiest heroes were suppose to protect them, save the world but they let it down instead.

A year ago, Wren worked at the compound, her position wasn't of any importance but she had a way with words and could talk anyone into anything. When a business went awry, Wren Granger was your girl. A few sentences stringed together and the deal was back in place. The day it all happened, the day people disappeared without any explanation Captain America strode into the compound for the first time in years, defeat written on his face sporting a bearded jaw and glossy eyes while the building echoed with gasps. He ordered a meeting, standing before everyone in his uniform, the white star in the middle of his chest was absent, his fingers bloody and his suit looked darker. He explained what happened, omitting most of the classified details. Thanos had arrived to earth, threatened to cleanse the world and succeeded. He wiped out half of the population. The next order of business he asked, "Where is Tony Stark?" No one had the answer. 

It would be a month before Tony would miraculously be found, "He was injured in a remote area." was the official cover story but there had to be more to it. There always was.

Tony was once again named the official boss, after it was discovered Pepper Potts had also been taken. Tony's health improved but he disappeared. 

Days passed and Natasha Romanoff, a beautiful redhead with an attitude that could scare a 210 pound man and boy next door Steve Rogers were announced as the new boss. It should have gotten better but it didn't, employees were cut, costs were cut and within three months Wren was forced to move on. Natasha promised in a year, she'd be brought back if things returned to normal. If there was a normal to look forward too. 

One year passed and the world was still broken and her job never came back, the Avengers weren't rallying up for round two and Iron Man let alone Tony Stark still hadn't shown up in public again. It was public knowledge that the loss of his fiancee Pepper had hit him hard. Rumors swirled that he was on the deep end of a depression, two pills away from ending it all. Wren didn't blame him for doing so, she'd lost people too. It's difficult to move on when you can't mourn any specific area except for a large wall that stretched for miles with names etched into it. It was personal, not an area you could make your own. It was covered in dead flowers, tattered teddy bears and letters from loved ones. 

Wren started drinking six months after her job was gone when everything became to much to handle, little things would spark ripples of anger. Misplaced keys, grocery stores not being stocked, a rude comment she'd overhear and the neurons inside her brain would fire up creating a alter personality that attacked with anger. She drank to stop it all, the pain and the anger. It was easy. She fought it with a crooked smile and another bottle of alcohol.

He came next. Tony Stark, that is.

Wren was sitting at her dining table working on her latest jewelry design, it seemed her hobby as a teenager had paid off since being politely let go. A knack for making customized bracelets and necklaces had provided a substantial amount of pay. Requests came online shortly after for pieces engraved or in tribute to a lost loved one. The current piece beneath her small fingers with light blue nails was for a woman who lost her daughter, she asked for her birthdate, birthstone and a small pink heart on the necklace. The roar of an engine startled her, the necklace slipping between her fingers as she stood up. Her home was far enough away from civilization that no one would just be simply passing by, in order to get here, you had to look for it and in order to find it, you had to know where to look. The image of Tony Stark approaching the front door, with a case of Guinness in his left hand and his hair slightly tousled as if he just awoke with pair of sunglasses hiding his eyes felt like a dream. She pinches herself before moving from the window, this can't be real. Tony Stark is hiding? Gone? Scared? Missing? Lo-- the doorbell startles her again, it's followed by a short pair of knocks. Her lower lip comes between her teeth as she approaches the door, a shaky hand reaches for the lock, unlatching it and slowly twisting the door knob. 

"Hey." He says as if this is a normal occurrence, like it's not unusual for him to be at her door in the middle of the afternoon. "I was in the neighborhood." He blatantly lies. 

"Hi." Wren says in a whispered tone and her eyes grow even wider. "Uh...Come, come inside." 

Tony sat across from her on the brown couch, his sunglasses discarded on the counter in the kitchen while his fingers danced across the glass bottle of beer. He's wearing an AC/DC t-shirt that is tightly stretched across his chest, it's the first time she's seen him in person in years, probably since anyone has seen him in person. His hair is longer, unkept and littered with greying strands and the whites of his eyes are bloodshot, his jaw is held hostage by months of unshaved facial hair. He looks broken. Nothing like the man who could throw out a sarcastic remark like he was a pitcher for a baseball team, the man whose eyes crinkled when he laughed or was rumored to obsessively work on new projects. Mr. Stark sits before her, unrecognizable. He's a different man but she's a different woman now to. Everyone is different since it happened. 

"This place is nice." Tony remarks as his eyes explore the home. He's seen better, undoubtedly, he's made of money. He owns a better home than this. His homes are in the cities full of people and tall buildings, millions of dollars put into the home with remarkable electronics while Wren's is secluded from civilization, surrounded by trees and wildlife, the closest grocery store was nearly two hours away and her closet neighbors were miles away. She has a broken bathroom sink, a window that never completely locks and a floorboard in the kitchen between the counter and fridge that squeaks every time you step on it, she knows he's pulling the comment out of his ass. Tony's been locked up for so long, he's forgotten what nice truly means. 

"It makes do." She says with a small shrug. 

Tony nods, bringing the bottle to his lips. He still hasn't explained why he was here or where he's been and he doesn't know if he can even begin to. He hadn't left home in a year, hadn't interacted with people in over a year but here he was. 

"Did you actually stop at a grocery store and pick this up?" Wren asks nudging the case of beer with her foot. It's sitting on the glass coffee table covering a assortment of magazines and papers, she has yet to pick up.

"Yes." He nods. "Didn't want to show up empty handed." 

"I like scotch too." Wren mentions with a smile. "In case you're ever in the neighborhood again." For a brief second, a smile crosses his face. It almost passes for real but his eyes give him away. "How are you doing Tony?" She asks interrupting the silence that encapsulates them. It's a difficult question, one that managed to escape her mouth before she had a moment to think of the consequences. Tony could answer with another fake smile or gather what's left of the beer and decide he's being called away. 

There's a pause in the conversation and a hitch of his breathe before he answers, "I'm fine." His reply surprises her, she didn't expect an answer. When he poses the same question to Wren her answer is far from polite. 

Her intent was to lie as he did but what comes out is not a fib, "I"m terrible." Wren mutters. "Fuckin terrible." She glances around the living room, shame written across her face. "I'm drunk, don't mind me."

"It doesn't help, does it?" Tony asks after another round of silence. 

"No... Not really." 

"No..." He repeats. 

"You live here alone?" He asks even though FRIDAY already told him that answer.

She nods. "Me and my shadow." 

"Must get lonely." 

"I make do." She shrugs her shoulders. "The quiet--"

"--can do you some good." 

"Is that what you needed?" Wren asks reaching out to grab another bottle of beer, one for her and one for Tony. It's a question in place of the one she really wants to ask, 'what are you doing here?' is on the tip of her tongue but she refuse to give it a voice. "Quiet?" 

Tony opens the bottle, tossing the lid onto the table and relaxing his posture on the couch once again. He kicks a leg up on the coffee table, slides his arm across the back of the couch and stares at Wren whose legs are dangling off the arm of the loveseat. "I don't know anymore." He whispers, dropping his head back. "I think... I just needed somebody..." For the first time in years, Tony lets the truth out. He's got tears welting at the corners of his eyes, a knot forming in his throat and his suave personality he's had on display for his entire life is crumbling before a woman he barely knows. "who didn't know me... before." He lets out with a deep breathe. Wren simply nods and takes another long sip of her beer. 

Tony leaves around midnight, alcohol on his breathe and his heart feeling a little less heavy. "It gets dark out here." Tony says surprised when he steps outside of the small house, glancing up at the sky. 

"Yeah, no tall buildings to make it seem like it's always day. You can see the stars too." Wren says with a smile. 

"I'll see you." Is the last thing Tony says as he leaves. 

Neither Tony or Wren have any idea how to explain the last few hours of their lives, Wren is still in shock that Tony showed up at her door when she lays down in bed while Tony is still trying to piece together why he arrived there in the first place. He'd come across the post it note with Wren's address when he slipped in the kitchen and knocked off the papers stuck to his fridge. It was the only piece of paper that fell directly in front of him, rightside up and caught the little light he allowed into the house. He didn't plan to go there neither was he intending to but his legs went on autopilot and before he knew it, he was in the front seat of his car, driving to her home. Leaving his house for the first time in a year was easier than he would have thought. The world didn't care about him anymore. His car left the garage unnoticed, his appearance at the grocery store went unnoticed. Tony Stark was nothing to the world now.

Wren created a spark in the deepest crevice of Tony's chest, he felt relieved to speak to someone who didn't judge him. She didn't see him as a pompous ass or billionaire who would only think of himself. The time they spent together felt like two old friends catching up over a beer. It was relaxed. He didn't suspect that she would rush off and tell the media about his reappearance into society or find a gossip magazine to sell the dark tales that were Tony Stark.

Maybe she could become a much needed friend in whatever world they're forced to reside in. 


	2. Chapter 2

"I fought Steve." Tony says in a low voice on his second unannounced visit, he's holding a bottle of beer between his index and middle finger. He got smart, this time he brought two cases of beer, they finished their first case far quicker than either of them intended on during his first visit, Wren once again mentioned her liking for scotch and Tony claimed they'll work their way up to the hard stuff.

"I know, I think most everyone at the compound knows you, Steve and everyone else went at it." Wren says with a short chuckle remembering the rumors that circled the office over the bad blood between the Avengers and the guys in the government, the ending resulted in Tony returning home injured and no one hearing from Steve or anyone else afterwards.

Tony shakes his head, letting out a huff of laughter. "No, again. Just me and him." Hate, Depression and anger consumed Tony when he came back and it created a being capable of destruction, it's how he and Steve came to blows once again. Tony finally got the opportunity to punch Steve right in his perfect teeth and while it may have been nothing more than a snarky comment when he first said it, the feeling when he actually did it was unexplainable and long overdue, if he were truly honest. There was no armour or shield in Tony's way, it was flesh meeting flesh. He'd been back on earth for a week, almost fully recovered when he was greeted by Steve in the conference room.

Tony stared at the pictures on the monitor, the picture of those missing. T'Challa, Shuri (though he never had the chance to properly meet her, he still mourned her), the screen changes to two pictures, Peter and Pepper. The screen freezes on their pictures forcing him to stare into the eyes of people he loved and lost.

"Tony, how are you doing?" Steve asks, lightly tapping his back. They'd kept their interactions minimal, usually small talk or light arguments before the other scurried off.

"You should have listened to me, Steve." Tony sneered, clenching his teeth, the ring he was planning to give to Pepper rest heavy in his pocket, the future he was suppose to have rested in that abandoned ring. The future he was so close to having was gone and all he had left was an unclaimed ring. "I told you this would happen."

"Tony," Steve says, the Brooklyn native always says Tony's name whenever he has something personal to say. It never sounds normal. "I'm sorry about Pepper."

Tony has his hands curling into a fist before Pepper's name even finishes rolling off his tongue and colliding with Steve's face before there is another opportunity to speak. Steve didn't retaliate which made Tony's anger grow. He wanted a battle, he wanted Steve to end his suffering, torture him for failing and finally let him be with Pepper. "Don't say her name!" Tony demands with a tight jaw and a grip on Steve's collar while his other hand remained in a fist hovering above his face. Time blacked out, he lost control and when he came to, Steve was a few feet away with blood dripping down his nose and spilling from his lip.

Tony wanted a rematch, he wanted another Siberia, wanted a battle. He wanted the great and respectable Steve Rogers to squeeze the life from him but Steve wouldn't retaliate. Tony pushed, gritted his teeth and swung, his bare knuckles colliding with Steve's face and chest. All he needed was Steve to hit him back but he refused. All he wanted was to be treated how he felt. 

"Oh...' Is all Wren responds with, making sure her eyes are on the carpet staring at a stain she hadn't noticed before. She doesn't know how to react, she never understood their first fight and a second made even less since but she's had her share of mistakes play out, who was she to judge "I punched my boss." She says tilting her beer to the right, narrowly avoiding spilling the contents. "Not you..." She adds when Tony arches an eyebrow at her. "Someone lower who was my boss, Henric or something." Tony doesn't know the name but he makes a mental note to have FRIDAY search his name when he gets home. "It was after..." Her index finger draws a zig zag in the air, saying for her what she doesn't want to say out loud. They've avoided that topic thus far. "He was mad at everyone, took his anger out on me and I was drinking, regrettably so. Things snowballed and next thing I know I was in H.R. almost getting handed my pink slip if it wasn't for Pep-" Wren's eyes grow wide stopping her sentence immediately, she looks at the table, the case of beer, the magazines she hasn't cleaned up yet and that god awful stain on her carpet anywhere to avoid Tony's gaze.

It's so quiet one can hear a pin drop or the scurry of a mouse as it runs away from a predator. Wren can feel the moisture in the air from the open window and the angry clouds that threaten to drop water at any given second, she can hear the gust of wind as it passes through the trees and the hitch of Tony's breathe. She's waiting for the other shoe to drop, she's heard of Tony's reactions, the hothead loose on people who wronged him. This is it, the great Tony Stark is going to come out of the shadows and bring hell with him.

"I failed," Tony mumbles in a breathy whisper, trailing his hand down the poor patch job Wren had done on the couch months earlier after she accidently managed to tear it the cushion. "...failed Pepper and the world." He adds and Wren instantly meets his eyes waiting for more. Waiting for the anger.

"You did." Wren adds, assuming she's already fallen on her sword and it can't get any worse. She might as well go out with a bang. Her agreement stings Tony and he visible shakes but it's what he wants. He wants to feel something new besides the empty feeling of missing the woman he loved. He needs this. He needs to be told how much of a mistake he made. "We all did." She says instantly cauterizing both of their wounds. It's not the time to shame Tony. "Everyone did, God knows I did, I made so many mistakes. Even before all of this, I wasn't exactly known for my great decisions making."

Tony downs the rest of the liquid inside the brown bottle, tossing the glass alongside the other empty beers they've already drank. His shaky fingers work furiously to open second case of beer hoping he can get into another bottle before he loses his grip on reality. He gives up before the second flap tears open and drops his head on the box, shaking the glasses against each other. "Fuck..." He lets out with a deep breathe. His heart is racing, the hair on his arms is standing up and he can feel stretch from his lungs as they expand while he tries to breathe. He hasn't drank enough to be able to mask the pain or stop his heart from calling out for Pepper. "Tony..." He hears in a quiet gasp. The clink of her bottle sitting atop of the coffee table fills his ears.

"Tony," she repeats again. The voice is muffled, like he's holding a cup over his ears. Her hand gently comes out to touch his back, it's the smallest of gestures as if she's holding the full strength of her touch back. "Tony." She repeats in a small tone, the couch shifts beneath her weight as she joins him on the couch. "Breathe... please." The floodgates open and suave Tony Stark is gone. The shell beneath him is out on full display, panicking and forcing out sharp exhales as he tries to get a grip on reality.

"Fuck..." He forces out, putting a hand on his chest as if the pressure will calm the pounding of his heart. "Hey..." Wren whispers moving in front of Tony, she falls to her knees and rests her hands on his knees, trying to keep herself at bay but also give Tony some comfort. "I need you to breathe." She begs watching his chest fall and rise rapidly. "Come on, if you die at my house, I have no way of even beginning to explain to the police how or even why you're here." She says trying to add some humor to the mix. There's not a single change in Tony's behavior which suddenly causes her to start panicking. "Tony..." With fear coursing through her veins, she hesitantly reaches a hand up to touch his face, the unruly facial hair is a sudden contrast to the softness of her palm. "I don't blame you, you know that right? This, everything that happened, the world losing so many people it's not your fault." Slowly, Tony's large brown eyes come to meet her green ones, a look of confusion on his face.

"What?" He asks breathlessly.

Wren takes a deep breathe, "Thanos what he did, it's not your fault. He would have done it no matter what happened. Or at least found a way." She shakes her head, letting out a nervous chuckle. "I'm lying, or not lying at least, my opinion has changed. I did blame you, in the beginning, I mean it wasn't just solely on you though, everyone was at fault. Then this funny thing happened, I was sitting here in my cozy little home, minding my own business when I noticed a couple of ants working together to pull a large crumb of food. I realized, as stupid as it sounds, that the world, everyone, myself included relied on six people to save us when we should have been alongside helping." She swallows deeply. "Just like those ants that worked together to get home and keep their food, if we would have helped maybe it would've made a different."

"More people would have died." Tony says in a groggy voice.

"People did." She whispers. "Everyone is just as responsible as the Avengers were. But we were too stupid to realize that. We relied on all of you to protect us and went about our lives never questioning anything." Tony gives her a glossy eyed smile, relishing the feeling of her small hand on his face. It's warming and starts a cataclysm of events that he is in no way prepared for. He meets her eyes, the dark green orbs that are begging him to relax and her light pink lips that are pressing tightly into a smile. His lungs ache from taking large gulps of air, his throat is dry and burning, the tips of his fingers are numb and his heart it thumping so loud, he swears Wren can hear it. She's the first person to touch him in an entire year and he finds himself pushing his face further into her palm to let her touch linger. He's craving her touch.

"Want that scotch now?" She asks with a breathy laugh.

Tony smiles, "No." he shakes his head. "Not yet."

"Alright." Wren agrees quietly.

Slowly, she begins pulling her hand away from him only to be stopped by Tony's voice. "Don't." He pleads in a broken voice. Her hand stills immediately, the tips of her fingers lingering on his face as she stares at him confused.

"What?" She whispers.

"I have to go." He says in a normal voice, ripping his eyes from hers and standing up.

"O-okay." Wren nods standing up and taking a few steps back to create a distance between them. She watches Tony grab his sunglasses from the table in front of him, throw on his jacket and quickly walk out of the house. The thunder rumbles and lightning strikes as he leaves. The trees shake with each gust of wind and Wren remains at her front door, staring down the road as he drives off in even more confusion than his last visit. He was in no condition to drive, he was drunk and in the middle of a panic attack plus the storm was all a cause for concern but Tony left far too quickly for her to voice her disapproval. She didn't have a chance to ask him to stay until the storm cleared up or until he sober, he left just as quickly as he arrived. The engine sounds echoing throughout the woods begin to blend in with the clashes of thunder and she's left confused and concerned.


	3. Chapter 3

The third visit from Tony Stark is even more unexpected than the first two times, it's been an entire month since his last visit and Wren hadn't expected to see him again considering their last interaction.

It was late in the afternoon when the sun is threatening to rest for the day and the sounds of wildlife become replaced with insects while Wren works tirelessly on another piece of jewelry, a piece for a husband whose wife had disappeared. His request was simple, a bracelet with his wife's name engraved and the date of their marriage below it. The task should be quick but her previous project had put her right against the deadline, the previous customer had requested a drawing of mickey mouse's face on a heart. With no particular skill in the arts area of life, Wren had resorted to tracing the picture and ended up wasting more material than she would have liked too. This one returns her to the simplicity that was jewelry making. Wren finishes the last consonant of the woman's name when the sound of an engine roars through the woods, startling her. At first, she assumes it's just a trick of her mind that she misses talking to someone since nothing follows afterwards. There is no obnoxious rev of the engine as Tony pulls into the driveway or the sounds of gravel crunching beneath his feet as he walks to the driveway. It's quiet. Her focus returns to the piece in her hand, gently wiping the shreds of metal off the small band. The silence is once again interrupted by the sound of a car door slamming.

She stands, discarding the jewelry and rushes to the front of the house, quickly opening the door to meet Tony whose approaching the patio. The tips of her fingers nudge against the screen door in front of her but Wren pauses before pushing it open. Tony's appearance hasn't changed at all, not that she expected it to, he's dressed in a long sleeve novelty band t-shirt, dark blue jeans with his hair unstyled and his facial hair in more need of trimming than before. He has a large brown bag in one hand and a case of beer in his other hand.

"Hi." Wren says in a quiet whisper.

"Hi." Tony responds standing in front of the patio steps.

"I didn't expect you to see you again."

"I wasn't planning on coming back." He confesses with a small smile.

Wren gives him a small nod and chews on her lower lip. "What did you bring today?"

Tony smiles, walking up the last step and standing just inches away from the screen that separates them. "A parting gift." He holds up the brown bag, "I hope you like tequila."

"No scotch?"

"Next visit." He winks.

"There's going to be a next?"

"Unless you don't want there to be."

"I didn't say that." Wren pulls the door open, leaning against the screen to hold it still. "How about we see how this goes before we start talking about next time? I like to keep my options open."

"Thought it was doors?" He asks cocking his head.

"Those too." She is quick to clarify. "Tony Stark, please come into my humble abode." She offers motioning for him to enter.

Tony walks inside the house, letting out a small sigh as he takes in the warmth. "Where do you want this?" He asks when Wren closes the front door behind them with a small thud and walks towards him.

"Coffee table as always."

"I've never seen your house." He says walking into the small living room and places the objects on the glass tabletop. "i've been here three times and have only seen the living room and kitchen."

"There's a reason for that." Wren says, grabbing a red blanket off of the couch before Tony takes up his usual residence on it.

"Which is?" Tony asks, taking the opportunity to look around the house for the first time. It's quaint, a few pieces stick out to him that he thinks Steve would be attracted to but there's a modern touch littered throughout. Her couch is in dire need of replacing, multiple spots on it are torn and sewn up with no expertise to hide the quick fix. She has an assortment of blankets he notices, the few times he's been here, there's been a different one resting on the couch. The kitchen table and coffee table he's noticed always seem to have items spread across it, usually one is dedicated to tools and the other to papers. She has a pair of running shoes that sit next to the front door and she usually has a discarded coffee mug that sits on the kitchen counter half full of coffee. The rest of the house is a mystery. there's a bedroom or office to the right of the house and another to the left.

"When do I get a tour of your place?" She asks arching an eyebrow with a sly smile.

Tony shakes his head and sits down on the couch, quickly opening the case of beer and pulling out two bottles while Wren sits on the loveseat in front of him wrapping the blanket around herself. "You're welcome for the beer." Tony says changing the subject.

"Thank you for the beer, Tony." She says with a smile.

Wren stretches out on the loveseat, propping her legs over the arm rest and exhales loudly. Her green eyes look out the large window behind her she watches the leaves from the tree float to the ground. It's the beginning of winter, the air is growing crisp and the leaves are making their escapes. This winter is going to be bad, the mornings are cold and the nights are even colder, soon enough the snow will fall and everything will turn white.

"Why do you drink?" Tony asks interrupting the silence they've found.

"What?"

"Why do you drink?" He repeats.

She snorts and turns to face him, "Why do you drink?" She asks with accusing eyes.

"I asked you first."

There's another round of silence before Wren speaks, there's no use in lying to him, she's a nobody compared to him. He wouldn't gain anything more than knowledge based off her sharing the truth. "To forget." She confesses.

"Do you?"

There is a breathy chuckle before her response, "Not really." Her head falls back, eyes tracing patterns in the ceiling. "I use to think, just one more, one more and soon it'll stop, you know? This--whatever it is will finally give me a break and just... stop. I don't even know why I'm so caught up on it anyway, I'm mourning someone who cheated on me." Tony wants to inquire further but like she has done for him, he lets her share what she wants. "God, can we open that tequila? If I'm going to be drifting down memory lane then I need something harder and stronger than beer in my system."

"Have I been volunteered to partake in that session?" Tony asks leaning forward and pushing the brown bag towards the edge of the table where Wren can reach it.

"That's what we use each other for, isn't it?" She asks piercing her eyebrow as she looks at him, cockeyed. "You drive out here, some beer in tote and we confess our deepest darkest secrets to each other."

"Is that what we do?"

"I'm sorry, I've had a few drinks today..." She concedes as Tony's eyes glance at the beer nestled in her hand. "Aside from this one. I can be a mean drunk. Today is a bad day."

Tony nods with a chuckle, "Must be why we get along, I tend to be a careless one."

"You, careless?" She asks accusingly.

"You, mean?" He asks matching her tone.

They stare at each other, both waiting to see who will be the first to speak or even move. It's a dangerous game they are playing but neither are known for backing down even more so when alcohol is involved.

Silence is a defining characteristic when describing the relationship between Wren and Tony. They talk, say a lot in little time and say little over long periods of silence. It would make most people uncomfortable but for them it's comforting. Silence is easier to navigate then stretch of questions that all need answers the second after they're asked. For them, they can wait and be at peace simply listening to the sounds of the other breathing.

"Why is today a bad day?" Tony questions after watching Wren take another gulp of tequila.

Wren forces a humorless chuckle past her lips, "It's stupid shit."

"Such as?"

"Two years ago, today was my anniversary."

"I didn't know you were married." Tony has read through her file a few times, more than is socially acceptable but he's positive there was no mention of a husband.

"I wasn't... thankfully." She sighs heavily. "He missed our anniversary," She swallows hard. " he forgot about it, which should have been my first clue. He said he'd make it up to me. I believed him. He was good, sweet and we were okay. The months that followed were weird, he was distant. Then... when it all was happening, I came home from work walked in on him and my best friend getting to know one another a little better." She scoffs, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. "It's really funny, when you think about it. The world was fighting to survive and I come home worried because he wasn't answering his phone and discover he's perfectly safe fucking my best friend." Tony exhales deeply, distractly lifting the bottle to his lips. "By the time, I got back to work, it all happened and they both were taken."

"Both?"

"Yep." She pops the 'p' with a playful smile, hiding the pain she really feels. A trick Tony knows far to well.

Tony sighs, "He left you to suffer, huh?"

"It would seem so." She sniffles and adjusts her blanket. "Is it wrong that I'm glad they're gone? That he's gone?" Tony swallows nervously, he's not the best person to ask this question to. "I think if he hadn't I would have gone back to him even seeing what he did."

"Back to him?" He raises an eyebrow, confusion deep in his voice.

Wren smiles and nods, "Probably."

"Why?"

"Because I did some pretty stupid stuff after everyone disappeared." She shrugs her shoulders.

An hour of silence passes as they drink the rest of the tequila and have came to the silent agreement to share the last bottle of beer. The world outside of Wren's home was starting to turn in for the night, the once blue sky had turned black while stars began appearing. Crickets chirped and the sweet songs from birds began to quiet. Snow was going to fall soon, she could tell, the sky was always a shade darker when it was going to snow. The living room had a soft yellow glow from a small lamp in the corner of the room, next to her bookcase that Tony has noticed is filled with multiple genres of books ranging from fiction to nonfiction with recipe books and self help books.

Wren's abandoned the chair and somehow ended up on the floor with a small throw pillow beneath her head and the blanket lazily resting on top of her. Tony is laying on the couch now, one leg propped on the back of the couch and one of his arms is hanging off the edge making his knuckles scrap along the carpet.

It's nine o'clock when their last beer is gone, most of it due to him when Tony breaks the silence with soft gasp. "Do you think they knew?" He asks tears in his eyes and sorrow in his chest. God, he misses Pepper.

"What?" Wren asks with her eyes closed on the cusp of falling asleep.

"When he... Do you think everyone he took knew what was happening?""

"For their sake, I hope not."

"Someone I knew, someone I let down... I think they knew what was happening." Tony says in a breathless whisper remembering the last moments he spent with Peter, how the boy's eccentric behavior drastically changed. He wrapped his arms around Tony and pleaded for help. Tony remembers it like it was yesterday, the fear nestled in Peter's eyes and the acceptance in his voice as he knew death was coming for him.

"Were you there?" She asks her voice slightly hitched. "With them as it happened?"

"Yeah." He says quietly. "Until the end."

"They just... Slipped through your fingers. Almost like you couldn't hold onto them tight enough." Wren lets out a deep breathe. "Then you wait for it to take you and it never did."

"Yeah." Tony whispers in a broken voice "I hoped he would have killed me."

Wren lets out a painful chuckle, "The world doesn't kill those of us who want it too..." It's the darkest thing she's said in front of Tony, the alcohol and the longing for sleep is to blame. "When we're too weak to do it ourselves, the world doesn't take pity on us. It'd rather we suffer."

Tony silently agrees, rubbing his eyes and sighing. "I almost did it." He confesses a little to happily. "After he left, I was in that ship, dying and I thought it would be so easy to just let it happen or help it come sooner."

"What changed?"

"I thought she'd be here." There's a crack in his voice that he tried desperately to hide. "I stayed... I lived for her."

"Wish you would have chosen the other option?"

"Everyday." Tony answers quickly. 

"Me too."

Tony slowly sits up, holding a hand to his head as he adjusts to the new position. He's drank a lot more than he realized. "Is that why you live out here in the middle of nowhere alone?"

"Part of the reason." Wren acknowledges with a half attempt at a shrug. "Is that why you locked yourself up away from society?" She questions him, turning her head to look at him.

"Yes." He answers without missing a beat.

"Quite a pair we are." A sarcastic undertone is evident in her voice as she tosses the beer bottle towards the table with a loud thud. "Do you think that's all that's left of the world? People who are barely getting by? Pieces of who they once were?"

"Not for everyone." He thinks back to the security feeds the days he saw Steve, the only man on the planet who seems to be perfectly fine with everything that's happened. He smiles and goes about his day like nothing happened, he's happy. "Some of us were luckier than others.'

"Lucky bastards." Wren says through gritted teeth. She lets out a loud groan as she rises to her feet, letting the blanket fall to the floor and releases a groan as she stretches her muscles. "I need coffee, do you need coffee?"

"Yes, please."

"Coffee it is." She says abruptly walking to the kitchen and accidently kicks a discarded bottle one of them left on the floor.

Wren quickly gets to work in the kitchen, sparring a few minutes to adjust to the sudden bright light that burned her retinas after switched the light on. She was trying to remain quiet her head is spinning with comments that she's desperate to ask, they've gotten into dark territory that revealed truths about one another, she wasn't planning on sharing. She glanced over her shoulder as she started the coffee pot, the room filled with the sounds of water dripping into the glass pitcher, Tony's still on the couch, clutching his head in his hands. The alcohol is taking it's toll on both of them, no food and a belly full of alcohol was making itself known.

"What are these?" She hears from Tony while standing on the tips of her toes to reach two mugs from the cabinet.

"Uh..." She slowly turns, resting the mugs on the counter behind her. He's moved. Quietly so. Tony is now hovering over her kitchen/work table, his hands buried deep in his pockets. "work."

"Work?" He says with confusion.

"Yeah, I needed a source of income after I was let go."

"These... these are great." He comments, picking a necklace into his hands. There's simple chains on some, gold and silver. Others that are beaded and jeweled but each is crafted with such beauty and care.

"Thanks..." She whispers with confidence slipping from her voice. She quickly turns around, pouring the hot coffee into the mugs and brings both mugs towards Tony who's still admiring her work. His brown eyes trace each mark, each line she's created and the marks from her tools. "Here you go."

Tony takes the light blue mug from her hand and takes a sip, groaning as the hot liquid flows down his throat. Wren watches him as he continues to admire the jewelry, he trails his index finger along a few finished pieces and gives a small smile. His hands are gentle, lightly grazing the metal plates. "This is... beautiful." He corrects his earlier statement. He grips the leather band for the few bracelets she's created, swiping his thumb along the silver plate that has another victim's name engraved in it.

Wren sighs heavily, the bracelet he held was for a child, a boy who was five and was excited to start kindergarten, loved trucks and wanted to be a police officer when he grew up and now he was gone. The mother requested the bracelet be dyed red, his favorite color. Her eyes follow the length of Tony's bare arm, he must have discarded his long sleeve shirt while she made the coffee, she looks towards the couch but her eyes are quickly pulled back by the light grey t-shirt he's wearing. It's the first time she's noticed it or the lack of it, there is no blunt ridge in the center of his chest. The chest piece she's seen plastered on children's costumes or novelty t-shirts is absent.

"You got rid of your..." She abruptly stops, catching her lower lip between her teeth. She can't mention Iron Man, she can't. He wanted to talk to someone who didn't know him before this, if she brought up Iron Man it could have a less than pleasant effect on their friendship? If they had a friendship? Were they friends? Was getting drunk all hours of the day, then not speaking until he showed up a few days after with more beer in tote considered a friendship?

Tony's eyes meet hers as he lets the bracelet fall from his fingers back onto the wooden table. "I'm sorry?"

"Nothing... nevermind." She holds her hand out, quickly shaking her head and drinks her coffee before another ill advised comment makes its way out.

"Thank you." Tony blurts out after a heavy silence.

Wren smiles. "It's just coffee."

"No, for..." He looks up, staring directly into her eyes. "listening. For talking. Everyone always wants you to just move on."

"Or give you their opinion on how to better yourself." She rolls her eyes at the comment, their 'friends' who all think they have the answers to life's problems.

Tony silently agrees, "Everyone else always knows best." He says with a smirk.

"That they do." She agrees sarcastically.

Something comes over Tony in that moment, something he can't explain or understand but he's suddenly leaning forward, placing the mug on the table and brushing his lips over hers. He can taste the coffee on her lips and feel the steam from the mug she's tightly holding in between them. Lips move slowly, like he's--like they're testing the waters, both unsure of how to react to this moment.

She parts, pulling away from him causing her coffee to spill on her sock clad feet. She hisses in pain and forces out a low, "Fuck."

Fuck, is exactly the thing that's filling Tony's mind.

Two versions of it actually.

The first where he wants to bend Wren over the counter and take her roughly from behind.

The other where he can't believe he wants to do that. He shouldn't want that. He's in love with Pepper. This thought was wrong. He's devoted, committed and was almost engaged to Pepper.

Wren's moved again, tossing her stained socks down the hallway he's never been privy to walk down. She's avoiding his eyes. She's avoiding him actually.

"I have to go." Tony doesn't wait for a response or even look at her for a goodbye, he simply leaves. Abandoning his t-shirt on the couch and rushing out of the house.

He's running from her and from his other brain that is desperately trying to convince him to turn around and take her to bed.

He pulls over on the side of the road, an hour into his drive, he has a perfect view of the city here. He has his cell phone in his hands, his finger dancing over the on button. It's been months since he's started it. With no service there was no reason for it no but it was habit that he slipped it into his pocket. The phone vibrates as he slips his index finger off the small button, it gets him... Friday greets him actually.

Her soft Irish accent sharing how happy it is to see him again. She's ignored. He has other business. He swipes past the homescreen and array of untouched apps until he finds the one labeled gallery, a blank Polaroid as the icon picture.

Pictures.

He scroll mindlessly until he finds the one he wants, the one he always admired whenever he was away. The picture was taken when she was asleep, he'd woken that night from a nightmare but as he looked over the sight stole his breathe and the dream with it. Pepper, his Pepper was sound asleep, one arm nestled beneath her head, the other stretched out on his thigh. Her blonde hair was sprawled along her face but it only highlighted her beauty. The picture was taken and he never let it go. It brought him comfort and curled the ache when he missed her.

It wasn't now.

"God, I'm sorry." He says in a whimper. His throat stings. "I should have been there. I was suppose to be there." His heart hurts. "You'd fucking hate me. You probably hate me." Tony doesn't believe in God, maybe his father is to blame for that. Howard believed and his mother believed but when Tony was old enough to ask questions, as children eventually do, Howard wasn't having it. He screamed and berated Tony, 'while under my roof you'll believe." Since then Tony refused to acknowledge religion, any aspects of it were nonexistent to him. His refusal of it was only heightened by his life, his mother dying, the great Captain America coming back to life, the wormhole, Ultron, Pepper leaving him; Bucky Barnes murdering his mother and then this. What a God force this upon someone?

Only now, he hoped it was real.

Tony wished more than anything that at least one aspect of it was real, Heaven. Those pearly white gates with fluffy white clouds where people had halos and dressed in long white robes. He wants her to be there, drinking poolside talking to some cabana boy as she sips on a glass of champagne.

He wants her happy. Even if she finds happiness away from him. If hating him makes her happy.

If she's watching down on him with a smile on her face as she takes pride in his pain. She'd hate him. That much is clear. He deserves this. He left her, he promised he'd protect her and instead of doing that, he let her die.

Tony sobs. His chest heaves and his throat burns as he mourns her. His everything. He hates himself and he hates the world. He doesn't deserve to live but he doesn't deserve to die, he wouldn't get to Heaven. He has has too much blood on his hands, years creating weapons that killed innocent people, his reign as Iron Man that resulted in lives being lost, Sokovia... Letting the world down. No God would allow him entry. He'd be welcomed straight into the bowels of Hell with the devil meeting his eye and a sinister smile on his face.

It's what he deserves to be tortured for his failure.


End file.
